Breaking Patterns, Building Trust: Communication at Work

In this episode of Smart Start Radio, hosts Eming Piansay and Sara Robertson sit down with leadership coach Megan Akatu to explore the art of clear communication and authentic leadership. From building trust and confidence at every career stage to practicing mindfulness before tough conversations, Megan shares practical strategies leaders and employees can use to transform the way they connect.

Listeners will learn how to:

• Recognize and break unhelpful workplace patterns
• Build confidence through clarity, groundedness, and presence
• Give and receive feedback using Megan’s CARES model
• Strengthen trust through small but consistent communication habits

Packed with real-world insights for hospitality professionals and beyond, this conversation offers tools to foster healthier, more intentional workplaces.

Transcript

Eming Piansay Welcome back to Smart Start Radio. I am your host, one of two, Eming Piansay.

Sara Robertson And I’m host two of two, Sara Robertson. Hello everybody and welcome back! We’re very excited for today because we have a special guest, Megan Akatu.

EP Megan was a speaker I met at the IACC event in Texas. I don’t know when this was—months blend together in my head—but she had such a great session on how to express yourself within your team or with your boss. The room was like, “Tell us more! Tell us more!” But then the session ended. Luckily, by some act of fate, she sat next to me at dinner, and I was like, this is my chance.

SR That’s so awesome.

EP So Megan, welcome. We’re so happy to have you here. Can you give our listeners a sense of who you are and what you do?

Megan Akatu Thank you both so much for having me. I’m excited to be here. I’m a leadership coach working with leaders to bring forth their most authentic leadership style so they can support their best selves at work. When leaders do that, they naturally become more strategic, think at a higher level, and better support their teams. I care deeply about the entire employee experience, and leaders have a huge impact on that.

Before becoming a leadership coach, I spent a long time in the hospitality world—that’s where I intersected with Eming.

SR Amazing. That happens so much with us. Eming and I will see a keynote speaker or someone hosting a session and afterward we’re like, “Hey, we have a podcast—want to join us?”

EP It happens all the time.

SR Especially now, communication feels harder than ever. My first question—what made you want to do this? Helping people communicate effectively so they can grow their business or team is not easy. How did you get into it?

MA Such a good question. The short story is that I was leading diversity and inclusion efforts in the wake of George Floyd’s murder within my hospitality division of about a thousand people. I was working at a large university, holding space for people to share deeply and build trust. It was then I realized I could be a coach—I might not have all the answers, but I can hold space for others to process, build trust, and grow.

I knew connection and trust were my superpowers. While working full time, I earned my coaching certificate at night, and eventually started my own leadership coaching business.

EP That’s amazing. I think it’s so important you said you don’t have all the answers but you have superpowers that make you really good at what you do. What does your coaching process look like?

MA It’s very natural for me to lean into trust and say, “We’re in this together.” I hold space for people to speak freely—without judgment—but I also help them look ahead: How do you want to show up? What do you want?

Adults rarely stop to ask themselves those questions. We did that when we were younger—I want to be this, I’m working toward that—but once we’re in the working world, we forget. Coaching creates space for that clarity, and that’s where transformation happens.

SR What are the common things you see across the board?

MA The vast majority of us live in our heads instead of being present. In meetings, we’re thinking, Did I say the right thing? Is my boss mad? What will people think? We’re talking to ourselves more than listening to others.

That self-doubt comes from fear—wanting to perform well but overworking or volunteering too much to prove our worth. I work a lot with confidence. When people recognize their strengths, they can better decide whether a project aligns with them or not. That awareness changes everything.

EP Especially for younger professionals who want to prove themselves—it’s easy to overextend.

MA Absolutely. It continues even into upper management. Most people struggle with confidence, and that limits how far they go.

SR So what does building confidence in the workplace look like?

MA We start by exploring the stories we tell ourselves—the internal loops that hold us back—and practice new behaviors to change them. I also have clients interview people close to them to mirror back their strengths. Then we work through how it feels to receive that feedback physically.

When you learn to listen to your body and feel grounded, you can better decide what’s a “yes” and what’s a “no.” Supporting yourself in those choices builds confidence. It’s a process—it doesn’t happen overnight.

EP That’s so true. Often leaders struggle to communicate effectively downward because they can’t relate to employees anymore. What can they do to bridge that gap?

MA Great question. Senior leaders often face the same confidence issues as their teams—they just express them differently. They may fear missing goals or looking ineffective. The best thing a leader can do is their own self-work. Often, unclear communication comes from a lack of internal clarity.

SR So they don’t even fully know what they’re asking for sometimes.

MA Exactly. And that’s where confident employees can ask clarifying questions: What does success look like to you?That breaks the pattern of rushing to execute unclear directives.

Even one clarifying question can shift the dynamic—it helps both sides reset and communicate clearly.

SR So would you say that’s kind of the first step—seeing the pattern and then breaking it? How do you get people from identifying a pattern to actually changing it?

MA We do a lot of that work in coaching. People try something, it doesn’t work, and we process it together. But a simple place to start is before a meeting. Most of us rush from one thing to another—especially in hospitality.

Before the meeting, take five minutes. Put your feet on the ground, take a few deep breaths, and get clear on your intention. Whether you’re the leader or the employee, ask yourself: What outcome do I want from this meeting?

Define what kind of meeting it is. Is it feedback, performance, a quick update, or a strategic planning session? How do you want to feel when you leave? How do you want the other person to feel? When you enter grounded and present, everything flows better.

EP That’s so true. And giving yourself permission to take those few minutes between meetings—it makes such a difference.

SR It’s about being proactive and intentional rather than just floating through the day.

MA Exactly. I tell clients, “You deserve ten minutes between meetings.” That time allows you to refocus and reset instead of rushing.

SR I’m interested in the mindfulness aspect of your work. Could you talk more about what mindfulness actually is and how it helps?

MA Absolutely. Mindfulness, in short, means being present in the moment—allowing whatever emotion is there to simply exist without judgment.

For example, anger is here, great; excitement is here, great. It’s about acknowledging feelings instead of resisting them.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness. Personally, I start my mornings by making tea, playing soft music, and journaling my intention for the day: What feeling do I want to carry through today?

Before moments like this—fun but also a bit nerve-wracking because I’m being recorded—I take time to reacquaint myself with me.

For others, mindfulness could be running, yoga, dancing, putting their feet in the grass—anything that brings them back to center. Some people need to do it once in the morning, others every hour. It can be as quick as taking six breaths. You don’t need a whole hour to get right.

EP That’s a great point. We all know mindfulness is good for us, but how do you convince people it’s worth doing—especially those who feel too busy?

MA Building any habit is hard. I’m stubborn myself, so I get it. The trick is making it easy to remember.

Set reminders on your phone or your calendar. Schedule five-minute breaks. Use accountability partners. I rely heavily on my Reminders app.

Over time, I’ve learned that when I practice mindfulness, I make better decisions and meetings go smoother because everyone’s clear on what they need. You avoid the “meeting after the meeting.”

Even so, I sometimes fall off—vacations, busy weeks—and start to feel off balance. When that happens, I remind myself not to judge it. Just laugh, acknowledge it, and return to what I know works.

SR That grace is so important.

EP I want to shift slightly. Let’s talk about fear in communication. Suppose someone has an issue they want to bring to their boss but they’re scared—it might come off the wrong way or affect how they’re treated afterward. How do you manage that fear?

MA I love this question. First, identify whether it’s fear or discomfort. Because our brains sometimes interpret discomfort like physical danger.

You might feel your chest tighten or shoulders rise as if you’re being attacked by a saber-tooth tiger—but really, you’re just uncomfortable. Recognizing that difference helps.

Then, clarify what makes you uncomfortable. Are you afraid of the reaction? Are you unsure how to express your feelings? Once you know that, you can plan your conversation.

I’m also passionate about feedback, because most organizations don’t do it well.

SR Let’s talk about that.

MA When you walk into a difficult conversation, know what you want from it. Do you just need to express something, or do you want action taken? Being clear on your intention changes everything.

For example, if you say, “You cut me off in that meeting,” your boss might apologize, but if you don’t clarify what you need—acknowledgment, change, or just to be heard—nothing improves.

Most emotionally intelligent leaders will respond well when they understand your clarity. It’s the vagueness that causes tension.

EP That ties back to grounding before a meeting—if you know what you want, you can walk in prepared instead of reactive.

SR There was a moment in your IACC session where someone asked how to tell their boss that another employee wasn’t pulling their weight. You handled that so thoughtfully. How can people approach those conversations without seeming like they’re attacking?

MA Great question. Human interactions are nuanced. My dream is that every leader—and ideally every team—takes the organization’s values and translates them into clear, observable behaviors.

Most companies stop at “trust” or “integrity” without defining what that looks like day to day. For instance, in our culture of trust, we greet each other in the hallway, we follow through on commitments.

So if you sense someone isn’t aligned, you can reference those shared behaviors: We agreed on this standard, and this isn’t matching it.

That shifts the conversation from accusation to alignment.

EP That makes so much sense.

SR It all seems to come down to details—taking a bit more time, being specific, slowing down.

MA Exactly. Those micro-moments of clarity save so much time and stress later.

SR I’m interested now in hearing from that boss’s end—what does feedback look like? You’ve mentioned your CARES model before. Can you walk us through it?

MA Absolutely. CARES stands for Compassion, Action, Empathy, Response, and Support.

It begins with Compassion. Start by saying, “I care about you and your growth, so I want to share some feedback.”That simple opening gives the other person a moment to breathe and prepare mentally.

Next is Action—state the specific behavior you’ve noticed without judgment. For example, “You’ve been late three times this week.” That’s a fact.

Then you share the Impact—how that action affects others or the team. After that comes Empathy. Pause and give the person space to process before continuing.

That silence is powerful—it allows them to collect themselves without feeling rushed or defensive.

EP That’s interesting, because people—especially women—tend to over-explain everything.

MA Yes! You’re absolutely right. I’m guilty of it too. I can talk a lot, and I have a lot of words in my head. But over-explaining often comes from a lack of confidence and clarity.

If we know our intention—to stop a behavior that’s hurting the team—we can be clear and kind at the same time. It’s actually more compassionate to be direct, because ignoring issues erodes trust.

When you address something honestly, you give the person a chance to grow. And that’s where the final S—Support—comes in. You ask, “How can I best support you moving forward?”

It opens space for them to share what’s really going on—maybe there’s a personal situation, or they need a schedule change. But you’re meeting them where they are.

SR So the hardest part is saying what needs to be said and then stopping—holding space for silence.

MA Exactly. It’s uncomfortable, but that pause is a gift. It lets the other person think.

When you give objective feedback without assuming what’s behind the behavior, it builds safety. You’re not judging—you’re observing and caring.

EP And being ready for any reaction, right?

MA Yes. They might cry, get angry, apologize, or ask for help. You can’t control that. But if you’ve grounded yourself, you can receive whatever comes without taking it personally.

SR That’s such an important reminder.

MA It really is. And it connects to what we talked about earlier—clarity. When both people are clear, communication becomes easier and more honest.

EP I love that. So what about situations where timelines or expectations get misaligned?

MA Great question. That happens often because people aren’t clear from the start. Here’s something I teach clients: at the end of a conversation, you can respond in four ways—

1. Yes: “Yes, I’ve got it, timeline works, I’m on it.”
2. No: “No, I can’t take that on right now.” (And no is a complete sentence.)
3. Yes, but with a new timeline: “Yes, but can we shift this deadline two weeks out?”
4. I need time: “I need to think about it and will come back to you by this date.”

Each response keeps communication open and honest. It prevents people from automatically saying yes just to please their boss—and then drowning in work later.

SR That’s so true. So many of us have done that early in our careers.

MA Me too. I used to take everything on because I wanted to prove myself. I’d say yes, go back to my desk, and realize the timeline was impossible. If I’d simply asked to adjust it, I could’ve delivered better work and reduced stress.

EP This feels revolutionary.

MA (laughs) It’s simple, but it changes everything.

SR When you say that, I can imagine people listening and thinking, “There’s no way I could say that to my boss.”

MA And that’s okay—it takes time to build that kind of confidence. But it starts with small, honest conversations. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

EP That makes sense. And it really ties back to organizational culture—whether honesty and communication are already habits or need to be built.

MA Exactly. Leaders can set that tone by encouraging transparency and curiosity.

SR That leads to my next question. Are there ways leaders can build trust with their employees—especially when people might not feel comfortable being open yet?

MA Definitely. Trust is built through small, consistent acts. When leaders do what they say they’ll do and follow up, people start to believe them.

For example, if an employee asks you to reach out to another department and you actually do—and then check back in—that builds trust.

I’d also recommend letting employees lead their one-on-one meetings. Ask, “How are you doing?” and let them share whatever’s on their mind—work-related or personal.

EP That’s such a simple but powerful shift.

MA It is. At the end of those meetings, ask, “How can I better support you?” That question alone can transform relationships.

SR What about leaders who don’t yet have the tools or instincts for that?

MA They can start small. Begin meetings with genuine check-ins or schedule quarterly “human-to-human” conversations that aren’t about work at all.

Also, use open-ended coaching questions like:

• “How would you approach this project?”
• “What are the first three steps you’d take?”
• “What would you start, stop, or continue if you could?”

Those questions empower employees and build two-way communication. It’s not about having all the answers—it’s about curiosity and listening.

SR I imagine what makes this more challenging is that everyone has a different communication style. Some people are direct, others less so, and emotions can run high. How do you handle that?

MA Great question. There are definitely different communication styles, and while you shouldn’t change who you are, you can structure your delivery so it’s received in the best possible way. Preparation helps.

When emotions do surface—say someone gets upset or defensive—the key is empathy without over-responsibility. Listen with curiosity, but remember, their emotional reaction isn’t yours to fix.

It’s not about taking it all back or rescuing them. Instead, ask coaching-style questions like, “What would feel most supportive to you right now?” or “How can I help you move forward?”

Early in my leadership career, I struggled with this. I’d see someone get upset after feedback and immediately think, I must’ve said it wrong. But that’s not true. The feedback was still valid and helpful. It’s okay for people to have emotional reactions—it’s part of growth.

EP That’s powerful, because so many of us are natural fixers.

MA Exactly. And if we take everything on ourselves, the other person doesn’t get to grow. Plus, we end up overloaded. It’s about separating “I am” from “You are.”

I can hear and respect you as a person, acknowledge your feelings, and still stay grounded in my own role. The conversation doesn’t have to merge into one emotional storm.

SR That’s such an important distinction.

MA It really is. It’s hard at first, especially for people who built their confidence through caretaking and over-delivering. But learning to stay grounded while others process emotions is a sign of true leadership.

EP That connects perfectly to what we discussed earlier—letting go of perfectionism and learning to delegate.

MA Yes. So many high-achieving women start their careers being detail-oriented and saying yes to everything. That works for a while, but at a leadership level, it becomes unsustainable.

You’re expected to think strategically, but you’re drowning in details because no one ever taught you how to delegate or say no. That’s where clarity comes back in—knowing what you want out of your career helps you decide what to release.

It’s not easy. You’ll stumble. But clarity makes it possible to shift old habits and focus on the bigger picture.

SR That’s such a great takeaway.

EP For our listeners, can we give them a little homework?

SR Yes! Within 24 hours of listening, take a walk or grab a journal and a cup of coffee. Ask yourself: What is it that I really want?

If you’d like to share your reflection, you can email us at editor@smartmeetings.com
. Who knows—you might even be featured in an article.

EP Megan, this has been incredible. You’ve given us—and our listeners—so much to think about. I feel like I’m replaying every moment of my own communication style now. (laughs)

SR Truly. This was so informative and concise. It’s not just about communication at work—it’s about communication in life. You really should write a book.

MA (laughs) Maybe 2027! I’ll hold myself to that.

EP We’ll be first in line to buy it. Before we wrap, is there anything you’d like to add—especially for those in hospitality and meetings?

MA Yes. In hospitality, we have thousands of micro-interactions every day. Those moments can feel heavy if we’re not aligned or clear. But imagine how much lighter the workday would feel if we all communicated with more intention and compassion.

If we were clearer about what we wanted, used mindful language, and set shared expectations, so much friction and stress would fade away.

SR That’s beautiful—and the perfect note to end on.

EP Megan, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your wisdom.

MA Thank you both for having me. This was wonderful.